Saturday, October 20, 2012

On Friendship

Recently, we spent the weekend with some old friends.  Actually, to be fair, they were friends of my husband, and I kind of inherited them, when we married.  Well, no. That's still not quite right, either.
See... here's the deal.  My husband has 4 friends.  buddies.   pals.   Some of these guys met when they were in kindergarten, although the full gang of 5 didn't get together until around 4th grade.We're not spring 4th grade was 45 years ago.  And as the years went by, these 5 boys became 5 men, yet they remained friends.  And as they each found someone they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with, they got married, and they remained friends.  And they incorporated their wives into the group.  Today, all 5 are still married to their first wife, with the length of marriage ranging from 34 years, down to the newlyweds who have been married 27 years.  Pretty impressive, huh?

But there's more.  Some of these guys live fairly close to each other, but others are separated by half the country.  Yet they have remained friends.  And I'm not talking the annual Christmas card, or occasional birthday email type of friendship... I'm talking about the type of friendship where..   as soon as we're face to face.... whether it's been two months or twelve months since we last talked to each other..   it's as if we were never apart.  And I don't just mean the guys, and I don't even mean just the wives, I mean all 10 of us.

Wow.  That's some kind of friendship.

Now, while I could give you the names of some of my friends from first grade and all through grade school, and I remember my best friend from high school  (we were going to drive across Canada the summer we graduated, but never got around to it), and I would have sworn that my college roommate and I would never ever lose touch...  the truth is that I haven't heard from any of those people, in several decades.  Sigh.

On the other hand, I have some truly amazing friends who I have never met in person.  Yes, they are friends I've met online.  (and no, I don't mean Facebook)  One of them, I met when I was searching through some forums for info on some upcoming surgery I had scheduled.  She, too, was scheduled for that same surgery.  So of course we were supportive of each other, throughout that time, and through our recovery... but we still stay in touch and communicate regularly, nearly 5 years later.  I know, 5 years, compared to 45 years.. well, it just doesn't compare... but I do think 5 years for an online friendship, is still something to take note of. I know her husband's name, and the names of her pets; she knows where my parents live, and commiserated with me when my mother-in-law passed away.

But I have some newer - and still truly amazing - online friends.  Courtesy of the internet, we chat, we email, and we even hangout.  Sometimes we talk about serious stuff, sometimes we talk about silly stuff..   and it feels like we've known each other for a very long time.

Wow.  Those are some kind of friendships.

I guess it takes all kinds.

Wishing all of you some truly excellent friendships... whatever kind they might be.

And now, back to my cup of Bewley's Irish Afternoon Tea...  might actually be as good as Typhoo English Breakfast Tea.  It takes all kinds of tea, as well.


  1. How wonderful that you and all your friends stay so close after all these years. Our world is so busy and scattered that it's unusual to sustain and grow these types of relationships over the decades.

    Friends are truly treasures, and I'm fortunate to count you as a treasure!

  2. Friendships are important, and those that we have had for years and years are blessings for sure. I'm amazed at the bonds formed on-line, too. I've met ten of my on-line friends in person, also blessings. Leaving Multiply and finding new friends on Blogger brings even more blessings!

  3. It's amazing that your husband and his friends have maintained their connection for so long, and brought their partners into the mix as well.

    I'm another who's glad to call you friend.

  4. I have to agree with all you ladies! I've met the most awesome friends... online! I'm blessed to count you three among them!