The Thing About Birthday Cakes

I came across something interesting this afternoon, and thought it worth sharing.

Remember how - when you were little, and you had a birthday, somebody would make/buy a birthday cake?  And there would be candles on top of the birthday cake -- one for each year, of course.

And those candles would be lit... and then you'd try to blow all the candles out in one breath.





And you'd succeed, of course .. even if you had to cheat just a little... and everyone would clap.  Then the cake would be cut into pieces, and the pieces would be passed around, and everybody would eat birthday cake.

And then everyone would get deathly ill.

Oh wait --- that's NOT how your birthdays went?  Gee, that's not how my birthdays went, either.

Well, maybe we were just lucky.

I mean, really... think about it.  We no longer cover our noses and mouths with our hands when we sneeze or cough, because it's been determined that it's more sanitary to sneeze/cough into our own elbow, or arm.  So why on earth would we put food in front of someone and say to them.. "Ok, now, I want you to blow on this food, as hard as you can...for several seconds.  And if the candles aren't all blown out, then either you can sneak a little breath and blow some more, or else... I know!!  We'll ALL blow on this food.  And THEN.. we'll all eat it.

Well now you can quit worry about this unhealthy practice, because there's a guy who filed a patent for a "Sanitary birthday cake cover and candle system".  It's a thing that goes over the cake.. and the cover has these indentations for the candles.. so you can put the candles in the indentations without them ever touching the cake, and then you can blow out the candles and remove the cover  and Voila!  you've got a germ-free cake.

Wow.  What a concept.
Yet, try as I might, I can't seem to find a place to purchase a sanitary birthday cake cover and candle system.  And it's not just because this is a new idea.. the patent was filed in 2008.  There have even been six more patent applications by different people for slight variations on the original patent.. the most recent being just six months ago.

And yet somehow, this idea hasn't caught on.

Hmmm.. I detect a note of skepticism in your eye.. a bit of a raised eyebrow at this silly discussion. Don't be quite so quick to dismiss the concern. In 2013, Australia's National Health and Medical Research Council declared that children should no longer be allowed to blow out candles on a birthday cake, and suggested that if parents wish to give their child the traditional experience, they should provide a separate cupcake with a candle.

Well...  after some pondering, I've decided that I'm willing to take my chances on birthday cake germs.  For all we know, frosting is some magical antibacterial that no one knows about... because - think about it... Have you ever heard of a bunch of people  - children or adults - getting sick after eating birthday cake?  Of course not.

So I'm going to continue eating birthday cake - whether or not it's had candles, and whether or not those candles have been lit, and then blown out.  And of course with my cake, I'll have some tea.