Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Once a Leo -- always a Leo

I was born on July 26th -- or at least that's what they tell me.  Which means that I've been a Leo my entire life.

I like lions... and I've been fine with being a Leo.  As a Leo, I'm supposed to have high confidence, high motivation, determination, and loyalty.  Leos don't take criticism well, and they're very stubborn, and often impatient.  And oh yeah, I'm a fire element.

We didn't focus on our astrological signs, when I was growing up, so I truly don't think my personality was affected by my sign.  But I do think that my friends and family would agree that the attributes of Leo fit me fairly well.

Today, I find out that I've never been a Leo after all.  No, it's not that I was born on a different date, it's that the Babylonians were somewhat lazy.  (as a side note, I have to chuckle when I hear people say "ancient Babylonians".  To my knowledge, that's the only kind we have.)

The Babylonian calendar had 12 months, each with roughly the same number of days.  So - while they saw that there were 13 signs of the zodiac, they decided to ignore one, and make it an even dozen.  Similarly, while some zodiac signs were visible more days than others, the Babylonians decided to make the signs all equal in length, and call it a day, as it were.

NASA, in its infinite wisdom, has decided that it's time we all learned the truth.

And apparently the truth is that I'm not a Leo, I'm a Cancer.  Which means that I'm compassionate, adaptable, and I have a motherly approach to those in need.  (Excuse me, while I clean up the spewed tea from my keyboard and monitor.)  And oh yeah, I'm no longer a fire element, I'm a water element. I suppose that part's true, as long as you put a teabag in it.

I heard that not everyone is changed, so I thought I'd check some people I know.  The first thing I noticed is that the last date for each sign, is also the first date for the next... which means that my mother - once a Virgo - is now both a Virgo and a Leo.  So she's both a fire element and an earth element.  Hmmm... I guess that explains why she like campfires so much.  As a Virgo, she's very bossy, and as a Leo she's very stubborn.  Well I guess that works.  But as a Virgo she's very modest, yet as a Leo she's somewhat arrogant.  Not sure how she accomplishes that, unless she's also got a split personality.

So let's move on.

I was married to a Cancer...  but he's now become a Gemini.  And that's ok, because Geminis are compatible with Leos... oh wait, I'm not a Leo anymore.

My business partner was a Scorpio, but now she's a Libra.  So her best day of the week was Tuesday, but now it's Friday.  And we meet on Mondays.. so I don't know what any of that means.

And then it hit me.  I know how to tell if this zodiac stuff works!  I looked up the list of which zodiac signs were coffee drinkers, and which were tea drinkers.  Leos are both, and Cancers are coffee drinkers.  Well that makes no sense at all.  But I'm trying to be open-minded about this... so I found a different website that took coffee out of the equation entirely, and told you which zodiac sign drinks what kind of tea.  Turns out Cancers drink chamomile tea.
Chamomile tea???

Well, that clinches it.  There's only one possible explanation for all of this.

My parents clearly LIED to me, when they told me my birthday was July 26.  Don't get me wrong.  I like July 26... I feel a certain connection with July 26... but how can you argue with all of the things I've discovered?  My birthday must be between August 10, and September 16.   Not sure which day... and perhaps I'll continue to celebrate on July 26, just for old time's sake.  But as I sit here drinking my tea - which is most assuredly NOT chamomile - there's no question that my birthday is between August 10 and September 16.


  1. Haha! Good old NASA messing with it all. I'm not a Cancer (apparently I'm a Scorpio/Libra?) but I drink chamomile tea at bedtime. What does that mean?

  2. I remember that old commercial (although I don't remember what it was advertising)that said "I'd rather fight than switch!" I was born a Virgo, I like being a Virgo, I'm staying a Virgo. End of discussion!!

    1. Tareyton cigarettes. No...I don't know how I know that. I can't even blame it on my star sign...since I don't even know what it is anymore!

  3. Youre a leo trust me. I'm a leo and I can tell. The greatest (arguably) astrologer RIP Jonathan Cainer explains all of this really well. Better than I could hope to.
    I'll summarize but please read it for yourself!
    The 12 zodiac signs were based off those constellations but because they knew those would change over time they use the equinoxes to calculate because those never change. I'm a shitty explainer so ya just read it for yourself. Astronomers don't like astrologers which is where the whole 13th zodiac and everyone is different now thing came about.