Records I'd rather not have

People seem obsessed with records.... wanting to be the biggest, the smallest, the smartest, the whatever-est.  Even if we're disgusted by what we're seeing and reading, we're still generally mesmerized by reports of records being broken.  Just ask the people at Guinness - after all, they've made a business out of it.

Some of these records involve body parts --  the record for the world's largest hips is 96 inches.  That's right... 8 feet.   There are records for things we do to our bodies, or allow our bodies to do.  There's the world's longest fingernails (more than 20 feet), the world's most piercings (453), the world's longest female beard, and the world's longest ear hair  (ewww.. I'm not even going to share the details with you.. it's that bad).

There's the world's most married person, not to be confused with the couple who has married each other the greatest number of times.  Wow.

Then there are the group events.  On August 8, 2010, 102 people rode on a theme park in Southeast England, to set a world record.  What's that you say?  That doesn't seem like a big deal?  Oh wait, I forgot to tell you, they were all naked.

And in case you don't hold a record but would like to, there are several websites listing a number of easy tasks you might want to consider...  there's 'the most sticky notes on the face in one minute', and 'the most jell-o eaten with chopsticks in one minute'.

In case you're interested, Ashrita Furman holds the record for holding the most records.

Frankly, most of these records I'd rather not have.  No, let me correct that.  There are none of these records that I want to have.

Hmmm,  I do have to wonder, though... what is the record on tea drinking?  I do know that in the countries where a great deal of tea is drunk, people will typically average 4 cups of tea a day.  Heck, that's easy.  But what about a record?  Amazingly enough, there is no record for the most tea drunk in any given period of time... So the possibilities are endless... Maybe.......

Nah, still not interested in setting a record.  I drink my tea one cup at a time, and if I want more tea I make another cup.  Which I think I'll go do right now.

But wait... Before I go...  I live just a bit north of Boston.   You may have heard that we have had the snowiest winter ever... Well over 100 inches of snow this year, and we're supposed to get another inch
today.   Just one more record I'd rather not have.

1. These thrill-seekers still hold the record for most naked riders on a theme park ride with 102 riders in Southeast England on August 8, 2010.

1. These thrill-seekers still hold the record for most naked riders on a theme park ride with 102 riders in Southeast England on August 8, 2010.

   now is the nothrill-seekers still hold the record for most naked riders on a theme park ride with 102 riders in Southeast England on August 8, 2010.

   These thrill-seekers still hold the record for most naked riders on a theme park ride with 102 riders in Southeast England on August 8, 2010.

   On July 28, 2013, 1,213 people broke a Guinness World Record by applying facial masks for 10 minutes at the same time in Taipei.

   Chris "The Duchess" Walton is the current Guinness World Record holder for longest fingernails. Seen here in NYC back in 2011, her nails (which she's been growing for 18 years) measured 10 feet 2 inches on her left hand and 9 feet 7 inches on her right at the time.

   In February 2013, 4,483 people hula-hooped for seven minutes, setting the Guinness World Record for most number of people simultaneously hula-hooping. The event took place at the Thammasat University stadium on the outskirts of Bangkok.

   The Guinness World Record for "Most spoons on a human body" belongs to Etibar Elchiyev. Here he is in Tbilisi, Georgia in December 2011 when he won the title with 50 metal spoons magnetized to his body.

   China's Jin Songhao set the Guinness World Record for the longest time spent in direct full body contact with snow in January 2011. His time was 46 minutes and seven seconds.

   These 52 chefs set the world record in February 2013 for the world's largest Cantonese fried rice in Costa Rica. It served over 7,000 people and weighed almost 3,000 pounds.

   Milan Roskopf of Slovakia broke his own previous world record in June 2009 by juggling three motor saws 62 successful times in a row. His previous record was 35.

   These thrill-seekers still hold the record for most naked riders on a theme park ride with 102 riders in Southeast England on August 8, 2010.

   On July 28, 2013, 1,213 people broke a Guinness World Record by applying facial masks for 10 minutes at the same time in Taipei.

2. Chris "The Duchess" Walton is the current Guinness World Record holder for longest fingernails. Seen here in NYC back in 2011, her nails (which she's been growing for 18 years) measured 10 feet 2 inches on her left hand and 9 feet 7 inches on her right at the time.

3. In February 2013, 4,483 people hula-hooped for seven minutes, setting the Guinness World Record for most number of people simultaneously hula-hooping. The event took place at the Thammasat University stadium on the outskirts of Bangkok.

4. The Guinness World Record for "Most spoons on a human body" belongs to Etibar Elchiyev. Here he is in Tbilisi, Georgia in December 2011 when he won the title with 50 metal spoons magnetized to his body.

5. China's Jin Songhao set the Guinness World Record for the longest time spent in direct full body contact with snow in January 2011. His time was 46 minutes and seven seconds.

6. These 52 chefs set the world record in February 2013 for the world's largest Cantonese fried rice in Costa Rica. It served over 7,000 people and weighed almost 3,000 pounds.

7. Milan Roskopf of Slovakia broke his own previous world record in June 2009 by juggling three motor saws 62 successful times in a row. His previous record was 35.

8. These thrill-seekers still hold the record for most naked riders on a theme park ride with 102 riders in Southeast England on August 8, 2010.