I have an acquaintance who is overweight. And she's not just overweight, but when she dresses, it does nothing to take into account the fact that she's overweight. Unfortunately, her manner of dress often emphasizes the fact that she's overweight. Some of us have joked that she must have one of those mirrors in her house, that don't reflect the real picture... and now when we see someone who clearly thinks they look better than they do, we say "Oh, she must have Lucy's mirror." {Note: the name of the individual has been changed, and I don't actually know anyone named Lucy.}
Recently, we saw people we haven't seen in a year. Since we last saw them, I've lost 20 pounds. Yes, I know I still have another 13 or so to go, but I'm pretty pleased with that 20 pound loss. And I was pretty discouraged that they didn't mention my weight loss. Today, they sent some of the photos they took, and I now know why they didn't say anything. Apparently, I have Lucy's mirror. Sure, I can no longer wear much of what I wore a year ago without looking like a clown, sure, my clothes in general, fit far better than they did, and sure, I feel a lot better. But -- I'm still overweight, and I still look overweight. Sigh.
Now, for those of you who've read some of my previous postings, I imagine that --if you haven't already moved on to something else - you're thinking 'Boy, this is not the usual sort of posting I see in Laurie's blog'. Keep reading, and give me just another moment or so.
I started wondering if the Lucy's Mirror concept applies to a whole lot more than our physical shape, and the clothes we wear, and I've concluded that it applies to nearly everything we think about ourselves. Am I as smart as I think I am, as generous, as friendly, as caring, as reasonable? The answer is maybe, but maybe not. I'm generous, but only sometimes. I'm reasonable, but only sometimes. Friendly? Well the whole thing of referring to Lucy's mirror to convey that someone doesn't look as good as they think they do, is pretty mean.
So from now on, I'm going to say Lucy's Mirror (rather than using the original name), and I'm going to try to apply it to myself, far more than I apply it to others. And I apologize in advance to all those named Lucy.
But I'm still drinking my typhoo tea.
Random ideas, musings and mutterings that seem to come from nowhere, as I sit drinking my tea. Must be something in my teapot.
This really made me think, Laurie. So much of the time my own "mirror" is way too critical - I'm fat, I look terrible, I can't do anything right...
ReplyDeleteBut I know there are times when I think I am so much nicer than I either act or feel, like driving. I can be under-my-breath nasty at drivers I think don't conform to my superior way of driving! That's the extent of my road annoyance, but it's certainly not nice. And my mirror doesn't reflect what's going on in anyone else's life, especially strangers in cars or when I'm at a store.
My mirror needs a reality check both ways!
Oh, and just a thought. Perhaps your friends didn't say anything about your weight loss (and congratulations, it's hard to do that!) because they have always looked beyond your physical appearance and focus on the person you are inside. They don't care if you have 20 pounds more or less, it's the person you are.
Good thoughts, Laurie. And Cathy, too. It's hard for us to know what other people see or think about us.
ReplyDeleteAdding my congratulations on losing those 20 lbs.
One of the most difficult things is seeing ourselves as others see us. I am grossly over weight, having lost and gained, lost and gained. No delusions here. I DO know a Lucy, however, and love your analogy! A very thoughtful blog. Good to stop and ponder, for sure!
ReplyDeleteA wise man once said to remove the moat from your own eye before you try and remove the beam from someone else's.
ReplyDeleteYou pretty much said the same thing, Laurie.
Y'all are getting so good at this blog stuff!