An amazing act of kindness

A few days ago, my dad was in a serious car accident, and sadly, he did not survive.  The family rallied around my mom, who was already surrounded by dear, dear friends.  We tried to make the best of things, but there were so many unanswered questions.  My dad had been alone in the car and he passed away before mom could get to the hospital.  Questions included things like - was he conscious? Did he know what had happened? Did he realize his condition?  And did he suffer... was he in pain?   I can't begin to tell you how many times one of us would voice one of these questions out loud, and then conclude "We'll never know."

Today, a young woman called the house.  She had been a witness, she said, and she had talked to my dad while waiting for the emergency team.  She wanted to know if she could stop by, and talk to us for a bit.

It turns out this young woman was on the scene scant moments after the accident happened.  She crawled in through the passenger side window and sat there with my dad over the next hour, talking to him and comforting him, waiting first for the emergency team to arrive, and then waiting while they worked on extracting him from the vehicle so they could airlift him to the hospital.
We are truly and eternally grateful to this woman.
Not everyone would have stopped at an accident scene.  Of those who would, not all would have climbed in through a window to comfort someone.  And she didn't just stop at this unusual act of kindness, but she stayed with him until he was taken to the hospital.  

And even that, was not enough for this extraordinary woman.  

When she found out the following day that this man she had sat with had not survived, she was devastated.  And she determined that she would find this man's family.

She did find us, and she was kind enough to share with us the details of the hour she spent with my dad. She was able to answer a great many of our questions, and as difficult as it was for us to hear her recount her story, she most certainly provided us with a tremendous peace of mind.  It clearly was not an easy task for her to relate this tragic event, but she felt it was something she had to do.  And we're so very glad that she did.

Before this....  I'd like to think that if I'd come upon an accident, I would have acted as nobly as this woman did.  But I'm fairly certain that I would have balked at the mere thought of the difficult task of tracking down the family and talking to them about the tragic event.

Now, I'll have to reconsider. 

The kindness this woman exhibited is absolutely indescribable.  We tried to express our thanks, but we feel like our efforts were woefully inadequate.  This woman will forever be in our thoughts and prayers. She didn't bring my dad back.... No one can do that. The pain of losing him is beyond belief, and nearly unbearable.  But, somehow, we feel just a little bit better after having heard her story.

And now, I need a cup of tea.

"I just flew in..."

Nope... I didn't go anywhere.  I'm referring to  that old joke...

"I just flew in from (somewhere far away), and boy are my arms tired."

So now you're probably thinking  - 'what made Laurie think of that old joke, especially if she didn't go anywhere?'

I recently came across some interesting information about a bird called a frigatebird.  I've never seen one and I'm not sure I've even heard of them before, but that's not much of a surprise, as they are found in the tropics, and I am not.

The more I read about these frigatebirds, the more interested I became.  There are a few
different species... including the Great Frigatebird, and the Lesser Frigatebird.


Oh dear.  You have to have a lot of sympathy for something that from the moment it's born... it's the lesser one.  But, lest the Great Frigatebird get too big of a head, there's another species named the Magnificent Frigatebird.  Rather sad that merely being great, is not enough.  While I'm not really much of a bird person, having looked at the picture of the Magnificent Frigatebird I do have to admit that it's hard to disagree with its name.


Getting back to where you can find frigatebirds... it's actually more accurate to say that they're found over the tropics, rather than in the tropics.  They're most frequently seen in the air, and one of their favorite pastimes is to ride warm updrafts.  While you might be thinking that they must be lazy...  don't be too quick or too harsh in your judgment.  You see, even though these birds (Magnificent, Lesser, and everything in between), live in the tropics, surrounded by lots of water... and even though fish constitute much of their diet... frigatebirds can't swim and they can't take off from the surface of the water.  In fact, frigatebirds can't take off from a flat surface at all, and they don't even walk very well.  Instead, they are truly aerial creatures... and have been known to stay aloft for as much a week.  Warm updrafts or not, this sounds like a lot of work.  And they're not little birds.  Frigatebirds are actually related to pelicans, and typically have a wingspan of 7-7 1/2 feet.  Wow, that's taller than -- well, taller than anyone I know.

And now you see why - when I heard about these creatures, I thought of that old joke.  I imagine the frigatebird version goes something like:

"I've been flying around for a week now, and boy are my wings tired."

Just thinking about this, makes me thirsty.  Fortunately, I hear the kettle whistling, so I'm off for some tea.

Are You OK??

Recently, I came across a poster from the Red Cross with a publication date of 1978.  Nope, this notice wasn't caught in the back of a drawer, and it hadn't slipped behind a bookcase...  the notice was posted on the wall right alongside a poster with the current federal regulations on employees' rights to unionize.  Being a curious sort, I started reading the poster -- the poster was entitled "When Breathing Stops" and it began with what to do in the event you come across someone who appeared to be unconscious.

According to this poster, upon seeing a person who is apparently unconscious, the first step is to tap them on the shoulder and shout 'ARE YOU OK?'

I know this is a very serious topic, but as I read this instruction and envisioned this scenario, I burst out laughing. Fortunately I was not drinking tea at the time, as I would most certainly have spit it out.  I mean - really?  You tap them on the shoulder and shout 'ARE YOU OK?'  (sorry to shout, but - you know...)

I began by sharing this with co-workers, most of whom found it as amusing as I did, and we chuckled at the age of the poster .. until we got to the last co-worker.  Turns out he's trained in CPR, and that this is still what you are supposed to do.  You tap the person on the shoulder to get their attention... and you determine what their situation is by asking if they're ok, to see if they respond and how they respond.

Oh.

Well it's still funny, but at least now it does make a bit of sense.
And then I started thinking about it a bit more.

And you know what?  Not only does it make sense, but it makes a lot of sense, and not just if you suspect someone might be in need of CPR.

Someone seems sad, or distracted, or even asleep at their desk?  You could ignore them.... you could jump in and assume you know how to 'fix' them.  But you could also tap them on the shoulder and ask them if they're ok.  How about someone you haven't heard from in a long time?  You could mutter something about them finding you if they want to talk.. or you could tap them on the shoulder and ask if they're ok.

Hmmm.  That advice might be 35 years old, but I think it has withstood the test of time. If anything, it's more valid than it ever was.  I don't think the shouting is usually necessary, but I think it would be a good thing if there was a bit more shoulder-tapping, and a bit more asking the question Are you Ok.

I was going to take that poster down, but I think I'll leave it.

Don't mind me... I'm just sitting here sipping my tea.  And yes, I'm ok.